XTRA! XTRA! Pain Enquirer Special Edition

Going To the Temple May Save Your Life Along With Your Salvation

(Picture of Glen Payne taken by family member at the wedding of his son Tyler.)

According to reliable sources, a man's life was saved yesterday as he appeared to be in the right place at the right time. Glen Payne was at the temple Saturday when he started feeling ill. He immediately laid down and elevated his feet. As a precautionary measure some workers called paramedics who thought Mr. Payne would be alright, but decided to bring him to the hospital to be checked out.

While in the ambulance Mr. Payne felt extreme pain in his chest and soon found out that he was having a heart attack. "It felt like some one extremely heavy was standing on my my chest. I couldn't breathe. It was incredibly frightening," Mr. Payne reflected.

After arriving at the hospital, Mr. Payne was quickly surrounded by 8 professionals who got him in to surgery where a 99% blockage of an artery was cleared. Mr Payne is concerned that if he had been in the small town where he resides he would not have made had been able to make it to the hospital in time to receive such competent help in a timely manner.

During an interview this morning his wife, Mrs. Kristine Payne said, "I'm happy to be breathing again and I am happy to know that he truly does have a heart."

Mr. Payne's doctor said that he'd be up and about and back to "his old self" soon. After hearing the doctor's response, one family member (who wishes to remain anonymous) asked, "Isn't there anything that you can do?!"

Donations to the family may be made through any of the Payne's 10 children who will gladly use the money to purchase the powdered dirt and seaweed mixture that will be the bulk of Mr. Payne's diet in the future.

"No worries!" the Payne's youngest, Teancum said. "I will pledge to eat all of my dad's future cake, cookies, mud pie, and ooey gooey yum-yum desert. I will also generously save all of my vegetables for him instead of sneaking them to the animals."

The family has requested prayers in their behalf.

Before going on a walk around the geriatric ward with her husband this morning, Mrs. Payne said, "He is up and walking around. Our hearts are full of gratitude for the tender mercies of the Lord in preserving his life."

** We wish you a speedy recovery daddy! Where as you gave each of us our own individual heart attacks, we ask you to respect the powdered dirt and seaweed diet.